Ever feel like your emotions go from zero to one hundred… and then just stay there? Like you’re one spilled coffee or one passive-aggressive comment away from a full-on meltdown or total shutdown?

Welcome to the rollercoaster that is emotional dysregulation. And hey, if this sounds like you, let’s start with the most important truth: you’re not too emotional, too sensitive, or broken. 

You’re likely just overwhelmed. And your nervous system is doing its best to cope.

Emotional dysregulation can make even the smallest moment feel like an avalanche. It can throw off your relationships, your self-worth, and your ability to handle stress in a way that feels balanced. 

But here’s the good news: you can learn to regulate your emotions. You can train your brain and your body to respond, rather than react. And one of the most powerful ways to do that? DBT skills.

Let’s break it all down—from what emotional dysregulation is, to how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help you manage it, one skill at a time.

What Are the Symptoms of Emotional Dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation doesn’t always look like a dramatic breakdown. Sometimes, it’s the quiet shutdown. Sometimes, it’s the little outbursts. Sometimes, it’s feeling everything at once—and then nothing at all.

Common signs include:

• Intense emotional reactions to seemingly small things
  
• Trouble calming down after being upset
  
• Feelings of shame, regret, or confusion after emotional moments
  
• Mood swings or feeling emotionally “unstable”
  
• Getting stuck in the same arguments or thought spirals
  
• Avoiding people or situations that feel emotionally risky

And while everyone feels big emotions sometimes, emotional dysregulation means those emotions feel uncontrollable, overwhelming, or out of sync with what’s actually happening.

This can happen for a variety of reasons: trauma, ADHD, anxiety, depression, high sensitivity, or just a nervous system that hasn’t been taught how to regulate.

What Does Dysregulation Look Like in Adults?

If you think emotional dysregulation is just something that happens in childhood—surprise! It’s alive and well in adulthood, too. It just looks a little different.

In adults, it might look like:

• Snapping at your partner and then feeling like the worst person in the world
  
• Shutting down emotionally when conflict arises
  
• Crying over criticism—even when you “know better”
  
• Constantly second-guessing yourself because your reactions feel “too much”
  
• Ruminating over past mistakes or conversations
  
• Feeling like you can’t control your reactions, no matter how hard you try

Here’s where DBT comes in. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is one of the most evidence-based approaches for managing emotional dysregulation. It teaches real-life skills that help you name your emotions, soothe your body, and respond in a way that aligns with your values—even when everything inside feels chaotic.

How Do You Overcome Emotional Dysregulation?

You don’t have to fix everything overnight. But you can learn to regulate emotions in a way that feels grounded and empowering. Here’s how—featuring some of our favorite DBT skills:

1. STOP Skill (Distress Tolerance)

S – Stop what you’re doing. Freeze.
T – Take a step back (physically, emotionally).
O – Observe your thoughts, feelings, and body.
P – Proceed mindfully—choose your next step instead of reacting automatically.

Perfect when you feel hijacked by emotion and need a second to reset.

2. TIPP Skill (Crisis Survival)

T – Temperature: Try cold water on your face or hold an ice cube.
I – Intense Exercise: Get your heart rate up for a few minutes.
P – Paced Breathing: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6.
P – Progressive Relaxation: Tense and release different muscle groups.

This skill helps calm your body’s physical response to emotional overload—because sometimes, the fastest way to regulate your mind is through your body.

3. Check the Facts (Emotion Regulation)

Ask yourself:

• What happened?
  
• What emotion did I feel?
  
• Was that emotion justified by the facts?

This skill helps you separate what you think is happening from what’s actually happening, which is huge when you’re in an emotional spiral.

4. DEAR MAN (Interpersonal Effectiveness)

This one’s for when emotions show up in relationships. 

D – Describe the situation
E – Express your feelings
A – Assert your needs
R – Reinforce the positive
M – Stay Mindful
A – Appear Confident
N – Negotiate

It helps you communicate clearly and calmly, even when you’re feeling emotionally activated.

5. Radical Acceptance (Distress Tolerance)

Sometimes the emotion won’t go away, and the situation can’t be fixed. Radical acceptance means acknowledging reality as it is, without judgment, and without resistance. Just breathing through it. It’s one of the most powerful ways to ease emotional dysregulation.

How to Integrate These Skills Into Everyday Life

Let’s be honest—these skills are great, but in the moment? It’s easy to forget you even have them.

That’s why we encourage practice when you’re not emotionally dysregulated. Try:

• Practicing STOP or TIPP when you’re only mildly stressed
  
• Writing down your go-to DBT skills on a sticky note
  
• Journaling your use of DEAR MAN after a conversation
  
• Using emotion wheels or check-the-facts as part of your evening routine
  

Like any habit, emotional regulation becomes easier the more you use the tools. And when those big waves come—because they always do—you’ll have a mental life jacket ready to go.

You’re Allowed to Feel, and You’re Allowed to Heal

If you’ve lived a long time feeling like your emotions are “too big,” or that you always have to apologize for your reactions, please know this:

You are not broken. You are not a burden. You are a deeply feeling human learning how to navigate the world—and that takes serious strength.

Emotional dysregulation is not your fault. But healing? That’s in your hands. And tools like DBT skills give you a roadmap. They help you feel your feelings without being ruled by them.

So take a breath. Pick one skill to practice this week. Remember that regulation isn’t about never having big emotions—it’s about building the capacity to ride the wave and come out stronger on the other side.

You’ve got this. One skill, one breath, one step at a time.

Reach out today to start your journey toward peace.